It began as more of a warm patch
but by week three it was clear that Delphine
was coming over hunchbacked.
'Hey Quasimodo!' heckled a hoop-earringed woman in the audience,
'Why don't you go ring a bell or something?
Why don't you go to Notre Dame and ring a bell,' she yelled,
'eh Hunchy? You big hunchbacked bell-ringing freak!
You big dromedary-esque campanile-dwelling outcast
who rings bells! You massive ding-dong huncho!
You lumpy gobshite!'
Delphine cursed herself for not writing
some hunchback material. 'I remember
when I had my first drink,' she mumbled,
as the crowd surged onstage
and bludgeoned her unconscious.
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