#4 - Infinite Gary

Gary was fooling no one
except his girlfriend, Brenda,
(a credulous beast at best for whom
falsifiability and the scientific method

were alien as beards on starlings -
'Let me introduce you to my friend
Mr Occam and his Incredible
Razor!' friends would jeer when shattering
another of her ridiculous and capricious
beliefs)

and the media, who popped
and shutterbugged below like a tide

of exploding lobsters; he rested
his fists on his hips and looked down.

'Citizens of Cheam,' he announced into a bank of microphones,
his voice deep and even as a trench,

'do not fear.
I am your hero.'

His cape billowed and flapped
like a pirate flag.